Gods and Kings
by Caitirin
Summary: Written for the LJ community It Hurts My Brain (ithurtsmybrain) this is a crossover with the movie Labyrinth (featuring David Bowie). The idea is that it's a pairing that might make you want to scrub your eyes out with brillo. Ahem. Enjoy.


The Goblin King was lazing in bed in his boudoir. Though sulking in his boudoir would be a more appropriate term for the activity, the only boudoir in the entire dimension, it might be worth mentioning. He was indulging himself in a marathon round of self-pity. There were no goblins in here, he had shut them all out, because despite being the Goblin King, there was really only so much time that one could spend around goblins and not be horribly dreadfully sick of them. They weren't exactly the cleverest of creatures, and the tended to smell terrible.

Jareth appreciated good grooming. He took pains with his own appearance and always looked, if he did say so himself, fabulous.

It had been a bad idea right from the beginning. He just hadn't realized it at the time. Or it was all her fault. Yes, that was much more likely. Jareth should have known better than to waste his time and affection on some empty headed teenage girl who couldn't keep her mind on anything for more than ten minutes. It had been an infatuation; a fleeting passing fancy and he hadn't really wanted it to go any further anyway.

Which was why he was sulking, alone, in a boudoir, dressed in black... still... years later. It was maddeningly frustrating for the goblins as he refused to speak to them at all. They'd had to set up a kind of interim government all on their own in the meantime. And for goblins with scarce any real brain capacity, forming a government was no easy task.

Jareth was aware of all of this. But he simply couldn't be bothered to care. He was in mourning. Or more accurately, moping. All that was missing were the chocolates and a room full of girls to do his hair and nails and bitch about how horrible boyfriends... or rather girlfriends could be. Jareth fancied that he'd be spectacular at Truth or Dare, and he had beautiful skin to boot.

This was not a train of thought that he thought should continue for much longer. "I need... a distraction." He reached for the small crystal sphere and rested it on the tips of his fingers. "Show me something... distracting."

The war was nearly over. Duo was certain of it. It had to be very close to the end. The goal they'd been fighting for was so very close that it was just a stone's throw away, metaphorically. Actually it was probably a bunch of battles away and a few strategic victories, but Duo much preferred to imagine himself throwing stones at the last bastions of tyranny and riding a shining white stallion to save the princess and... well... it was something like that.

In reality it was much more of a giant black mobile suit crashing and slicing its way to victory, but Duo wasn't too picky with his metaphors. In fact, he was certain that most people didn't even think he knew what a metaphor was. Being American people tended to think that he was stupid, and he was, sometimes, but he'd read an awful lot. There wasn't a whole lot else to do on long flights, and flights between colonies were the mothers of all long flights, so there had been time to pick up a few things of the literary variety. Though he'd still always choose a comic book over a classic, pictures were worth a thousand words after all.

He'd finished the book he'd brought with him on this flight, but there were still almost twenty hours to go before he touched down on earth again. Duo checked the autopilot and then double-checked it and then tilted his seat as far back as it would go and tipped his hat forward to block the light from the instrument panels. It was time for some long deserved sleep.

The mortal world had changed a lot since Jareth last checked into it. They were now venturing into outer space and living on other planets and wreaking all kinds of havoc. Granted the wreaking havoc, war, and killing was nothing new, but the idea of doing it on other planets was. There were still those crazed humans who went on about saving the planet just as there had been when he'd dropped in to take that stupid baby away from Sarah because she'd been made so unhappy by it. And then she had to go and decide she wanted it back and... Jareth decided not to go down that road at the moment. He'd been looking for a distraction. Right.

He rolled the ball around on the top of his fingers and watched the images racing through it. A delectable little mortal to toy with, that would cheer his spirits. Something modern and young, he had a weakness for gilded youths. There was something so enticing about their energy, their resilience, and their passions. It invigorated him and made him feel more alive. Though Jareth was immortal, it was easy enough to slip into ruts and to feel like nothing more than an empty shell. He'd been feeling that way ever since i _her /i _, and it was high time that he broke out of the rut and seduce something new.

Something caught his eye suddenly, a mortal, dreaming, far off in space, on a long flight. A splendid morsel, a male, he didn't want to deal with a female. Entirely too prone to fits of stupidity, just like that last one, who'd spurned him. He had taken a small measure of perverse delight in watching her grow old and wrinkled and eventually pass away. Though it had chafed him at how little meeting him had actually left an impression on her. When she grew up, she married, had children, and led a very normal life. She never spoke of Jareth again. It was as though she were mocking him with her very existence.

Jareth focused in on the mortal, he was dressed in black and what seemed to be a strange hybrid of priestly garb and modern fashion. Jareth easily surmised that he was not a priest, but merely wore parts of the clothing for one. That was all fine; Jareth didn't intend to keep him in his clothing for long. A distinctly predatory gleam crept into Jareth's face.

Duo could feel someone watching him. He was half-asleep, but he felt it. You didn't get this far along into a war and not pick up just a few tricks of the trade, Heero wasn't the only one who could manage feats of greatness. Okay, so maybe he was the only one insane enough to sleep with his eyes open and blow himself up regularly, but Duo liked to think that he was capable of feats of at least above-average-ness.

He sat up. "Who's there?" He pulled his gun and blinked the sleep out of his eyes.

A shadowy figure moved just out of eyesight and Duo reached for the switch that would turn on the overhead lights.

"Wait."

Duo's fingers hesitated just over the switch. "Who are you? What are you doing here? You got ten seconds to give me some good answers or else."

"Oh, I don't think you're in any position to give ultimatums, little prince."

Duo raised an eyebrow. "What? Look, you've got me confused with Quatre, he's the... why the hell am I talking to you? Step out here where I can see you or I'm going to shoot you." Duo stood up and held the gun at the ready in front of him. He was a pretty damn good shot, had managed to hit Heero once. In the arm. Okay, so he'd been aiming for Relena, he was a mobile suit pilot, for Christ's sake, was he supposed to be good at everything?

Jareth laughed softly and folded his arms across his chest. "I don't think you understand who you're talking to. Let me... elucidate it for you."

Duo clicked the safety off on his gun and braced for some kind of attack. He could safely say that he had never been more surprised than when he found his gun gone and the entire ship vanish right around him. The ground vanished from under his feet and was replaced by a stone dais. There were stone steps as far as he could see, all around him. But none of them made sense. Some of them went up and some went down, others seemed to lead nowhere or to go right out of walls. It made him dizzy looking at it and he had to lean back against a wall. "Where the hell am I?"

Jareth laughed as he stood across the castle from his quarry, at least the castle had come together again nicely after that horrid girl had ruined everything. "You are in my castle. Welcome, please stay a while. I am Jareth, the gob..." Jareth reconsidered his title for a moment and decided to leave it out. "Never mind that. I am the King here." Jareth was thinking that perhaps it was time for a makeover, a new image. He'd be a splendid King of Dragons, though dragons had been done to death and he wasn't about to get started with something so ridiculously frilly as unicorns. He was thinking about something more along the lines of a Jabberwock.

Duo was staring at Jareth, from across the room with the look of a remedial math student who has been put into an advanced calculus class. "Dude, you're insane. How the hell did you do that? Where's the ship? Where's my gun?" Duo paused and then his eyes widened. "Where the hell's my mobile suit!"

This wasn't at all how Jareth had planned things. He scowled. "I've brought you a gift." Jareth produced the crystal sphere that he had tried to give Sarah all those years ago. "It's not a gift for just any mortal, this is a special.."

"A glass ball? What am I going to do with a glass ball?" Duo peered through it.

Jareth was astonished; the boy had taken it right out of his hands. He was losing his touch. He almost stuttered. He snatched it back. "As I was saying, it allows you to see whatever you most desire, I am giving it to you because I... what are you doing?"

"Familiarizing myself with my surroundings."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a mobile suit pilot, that's what I do. Always prepared. Just like the Boy Scouts, only dangerous and suspected of being mentally unbalanced." Duo grinned. "So why are you here?"

Jareth was taken aback. He hadn't expected that question. This boy was thinking an awful lot too much. Maybe Jareth was losing his touch. No, that was unthinkable and impossible. "I am here for you. You should be falling under my spell any second now and then I'll seduce you, have my way with you and be gone... like a phantom in the night. You will be powerless before me."

Duo raised an eyebrow. "So you're one of THOSE kinds of dreams. I knew I'd been in space too long."

Jareth moved closer, closing the distance between them. "You have been alone for a long time haven't you?" Jareth slid a hand over Duo's shoulder and down the back of his shirt. "Let me rule you."

Duo paused, faltering, there was something about this dream... this guy. And he was in spandex... spandex just like Heero, well close anyway, the wrong color, but Duo figured he could forgive that.

Jareth saw the hesitation in Duo's expression and made his move.

"Ah... whoa..." That felt good.

Jareth smiled and pushed Duo back up against a concrete pillar. It had taken a rather unusual track but at least it proved that he hadn't lost his touch.

The beeping of the communicator woke Duo. He scrabbled for his clothing or something before he could turn the video receiver on. And that guy had to be around here somewhere, after a night like that, there was no way he could have left already, Duo felt exhausted.

... or at least, he should have felt exhausted. Duo sat up blearily. He touched his chest, he was fully clothed. Jareth certainly hadn't left him... wait... how had someone like that gotten into the shuttle anyway? That was impossible. Duo realized that he was clothed. He jammed the communicator button. "Yo!"

Heero glared at him through the view screen. "You're late."

Duo rubbed sleep from his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Give me a minute, I just woke up. I had these weird ass dreams about this guy with... big hair and a huge..."

"Get into your Gundam and get here." Heero signed off.

"Yeesh, the friendliest guy on the planet, aren't you, Mr. Perfect Solider?" Duo climbed out of his seat. "No wonder I'm dreaming about crazy sex fiends in spandex, not like I'm ever going to get any from you." Duo headed down to the cargo bay. Maybe he'd have to dream that guy up again for his next deep space mission. Those had been some dreams.


End file.
